Have a Ball

2/27/2022

So I am currently writing this from a moving car. My current, tangible hope is that I don’t get extremely nauseous or throw up, as I do get motion sickness. My long-term hope, well, we all know by now.

I am trying to write this here because, although perhaps not related at all, I spent a lot of time writing these articles last year during finals week, and unfortunately, I did not perform so hot on finals. But I need to get this off my chest, and this has worked as a great medium before. 

Tonight was a ball. Literally, not metaphorically. Now my problems, I think, always stem from expectations. I do place a lot of expectations on things that never pan out the way I’d like. That’s not to say that a lack of expectations would cure running through the jungle (hehe) with my woes. But, it could at least minimize some of it.

I don’t know what I expected, to be honest. At this point it’s fool me x193837, shame on…me? Does it alternate like the he loves me/loves me not rhyme? I guess not if it is meant to be accurate, and not just clever. 

I don’t even really know where I want to go with this post. I’m not sad, I just am. I’m disappointed but not necessarily angry. I’ve exhausted all my emotions in previous posts. I have no room for wit or vulnerability. Somehow still have room for hope though.

I guess I should be celebrating that. Once you lose hope, you lose everything.

I just hope now to get my GPA back and be so successful that I don’t have time for expectations, or maybe even to have the underlying hope anymore. 



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